Imaging yourself on an African safari. You are excited about your first journey into the wild. Around 10:00 AM in the morning, your tour group takes a break. Your guide tells everyone not to wander too far. He reminds you that this is an untamed land. You listen to his words but they don't really sink in. You decide to stretch your legs. You are not going to go very far so where would be the harm?

You had walked only about 50 yards from your tour group when it happened. Appearing from behind a bush, you discover the most frightening sight you could imagine. Not 20 feet in front of you stands a full grown rhinoceros. What should you do? What could you do? My friend, in that situation you have one choice: TAME THE BEAST OR BE TAMED (or destroyed) BY IT!

Of course, in this chapter the beast I am talking bout has nothing to do with an African safari. The beast I am talking about is much more deadly and destructive to your life and success. The beast that threatens us is the TONGUE. King Solomon said, "Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life."

If we truly want to become a champion then we have to learn to tame the beast. In the next few moments, we are going to take a look at five elements we need to be aware of if we are going to tame the tongue. Five elements, if understood and used effectively will lead to our success. Five elements, if ignored will destroy us!

ELEMENT ONE: WORDS OF DESTRUCTION

Have you ever said something and then wished you could take it back? We all have. Many times, we use our words to hurt another. We call this helping. "I am telling you this for your own good." Has anyone ever said that to you? How do you respond? "Thanks a lot. I feel much better now." Not likely . We have to be careful about criticizing other people. Before we criticize another, we need to look deep at out motives. Are we really trying to help or do we feel insecure for some reason? Is it any of our business? Are you angry with this person and just want to get even? Be careful about criticizing.

One way for us to overcome this is to become proactive people. Many people do the opposite. They are reactive. Reactive people respond to things according to how they feel. Most of the time that's fine, but what if events turn a little sour? What if things aren't quite the way you want them? Reactive people respond by how they feel. Since they are feeling negative they make a bad situation worse.

Proactive people are different. They make an effort to choose how to respond. Dr. Stephen R. Covey says proactive people let their values lead their emotions. I believe that logic is also important. Our emotions are good. We need them. But they must be harnessed and controlled by our logic and our values. I believe Dr. Covey would agree with this statement. Proactive people are the true leaders in life. They turn bad situations into success by choosing how to respond. Words of destruction can and must be overcome if we are going to be successful at taming the beast.

ELEMENT TWO: TRUTH IS THE ONLY WAY

Most of us have heard the old saying, "Honesty (truth) is not just the best policy, it is the only policy." But is this really true? I believe it is. Not only is telling the truth the only way to integrity, but also it is very practical. No one has a good enough memory to not tell the truth. One lie, has to be covered up by another lie, those two lies now have to be covered up by a third lie, those three lies now have to be covered up by a fourth lie, and before we know it, our life has spiraled down into the depths of deception and delusion. Truth is the only policy for the champion!

ELEMENT THREE: WORDS OF HOPE

We are to be motivators to our fellow man. We are to encourage each other. The ancient writer said, "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior."

In my opinion, Zig Ziglar is still the number one motivational speaker in the world. After all these years, he is still number one. Zig grew up in a large family in Mississippi. When he was a young boy, tragedy struck the Ziglar family when his father died. A couple of days later his little sister died. Without the love and support of his wonderful mother, Zig probably wouldn't have grown into the man he is today. At that time, Zig was too young to get a job to help support the family, but soon he was old enough to work in the garden.

Mrs. Ziglar gave Zig an assignment of planting peas in the garden. When little Zig had finished his assignment, he went to his mother and said, "Mama, I'm done." Mrs. Ziglar went out to see how he had done. The way Zig puts it, "She went out to inspect to make sure she got what she expected." When Mrs. Ziglar had seen the job little Zig had done with those peas, she was not happy. "Oh no," she said.

"What's the matter Mama?" Zig knew very well what the problem was. He hadn't done a very good job with those peas.

Mrs. Ziglar knew exactly how to get through to her young son. She said, "Son, what you did hear would be fine for most boys, but you're not most boys. You are my boy and you can do better." You see what she did? She separated his behavior from who he is. She praised the performer and critiqued the performance. His job performance needed critiqued. It stunk! However, she kept his self esteem in tact. Zig talks about what an influence this made on his life. It is no wonder that Zig has been able to motivate so many people.

In his fabulous book Compassionate Capitalism, Rich DeVos tells a wonderful story about Teddy Stollard. Teddy was a 10 year old failure if Miss Thompson had ever seen one. Teddy was in her fifth grade homeroom class. Everything seemed to point to a sad life for Teddy. Teddy's school file said it all. In the first grade the file read, "Teddy shows promise. Some kind of conflict going on at home, and Teddy seems deeply affected by it." Second grade read, "Teddy seems able but distracted. Apparently, his mother is seriously ill. He receives little help at home from either parent." Third grade, "Teddy's mother died this year. The boy is intelligent enough, but he seems unable to concentrate. Father doesn't return our calls." Teddy's fourth grade doesn't get any better. It reads, "Teddy is slow but well behaved. He cried occasionally for his mother. His father shows no interest." How do you help a child like Teddy?

It was Christmastime in Miss Thompson's class. What a joyous time of celebration. One of the favorite times was when the teacher would open her presents from the children. A pile of loving presents engulfed Miss Thompson. With students all around her, she began opening the gifts from the children. At the bottom of the pile of presents she found a present that looked much different than the other ones. It wasn't decorated neatly and festively like the other ones. It was wrapped in plain brown paper messily held together with tape and string. On the package written in crayon awkwardly, Miss Thompson read, "To Miss Thompson From Teddy."

As she opened Teddy's gift, Miss Thompson found an ugly rhinestone bracelet with half its stones missing and a bottle of inexpensive perfume with not much left in it. (Boy, he didn't give much effort in this gift.) The children began to laugh at Teddy's dumb gift. But Miss Thompson tried to salvage the situation for poor Teddy. She slipped the bracelet on her arm and put a little perfume on her wrist. "Doesn't it smell lovely?" she asked the children. The joyful sounds of children's agreement followed.

At the end of the school day, Miss Thompson noticed something a little odd. All the children had left except one. When Miss Thompson looked up she noticed little Teddy sitting at his desk with a big smile on his face. "Teddy?"

Teddy slowly got up and walked to his teacher. With the smile still on his tiny face he looked lovingly at his teacher and said, "You look pretty in my mother's bracelet. And you smell almost like her now with that perfume on your arm." It was at that moment that Miss Thompson realized the magnitude and sacrifice of little Teddy's gift. He had given her his greatest treasure---the memory and love for his mother.

She looked lovingly at her student with more understanding then she had ever had for this troubled child and said, "Teddy, thank you for your presents. I liked them very much."

"That's okay," said Teddy. He then grabbed his coat and headed for home.

Miss Thompson just stood there watching the door where little Teddy had just walked out. At that moment, she made a decision. She was going to do everything in her power to help out this little boy. She was going to encourage him and help him see the best in himself. From that time on, Miss Thompson would stay after school to help Teddy. She would drill him over and over in his math studies. She would help him learn to write cleaner, neater sentences. She read to him and encouraged him to read to her. She praised him every chance she got in private and in front of the class.

By the end of the year, Teddy had improved dramatically. His grades were improving and he had caught up academically with most of his classmates. In fact, he was giving the best students a run for their money. His self-esteem was soaring like an eagle. One day, Miss Thompson looked at Teddy and said, "You did it Teddy, and I'm proud." Teddy looked up at his teacher and said, "I didn't do it, Miss Thompson. We did it together."

During the summer, Teddy's father lost his job and they moved away. As soon as Miss Thompson heard the news, she hurriedly wrote a note in Teddy's permanent file. The note read, "Fifth grade: Teddy is an exceptional child. He was damaged by his mother's death and his father's disinterest, but he is well on his way to recovery. Whatever extra time you have to invest in Teddy will bring you real reward."

It was a long seven years before Miss Thompson heard from Teddy. But every year, as she would sit around her students at Christmas time, she would tell them about Teddy Stollard and his sacrificial gifts. How was Teddy? Would she ever hear from him? Did she make a difference? Did she really help him or was it just temporary improvement?

One day, Miss Thompson received a short note from Teddy. The note read:

"Dear Miss Thompson,
I wanted you to be the first to know. I will be graduating second in my high school class. Thanks, teacher. We did it!

Love,
Teddy Stollard."

Four more years went by and then came another note from Teddy. It read:

"Dear Miss Thompson,
They just told me I'll be graduating valedictorian of my class this year. I wanted you to be the first to know. The university has not been easy, but we did it.

Love,
Teddy Stollard."

After college, Teddy pursued a bigger four year goal. When accomplished, he wrote Miss Thompson again.

"Dear Miss Thompson,
As of today, I am Theodore Stollard, M.D. How about that? I wanted you to be the first to know. We did it. I am getting married next month, the twenty-seventh to be exact. I want you to come and sit where my mother would have sat if she were alive today. My dad died last year. You are the only family I have now.

Love,
Teddy Stollard."

Words of Hope is a way of life. Miss Thompson almost missed her opportunity to help a little ten year old boy. But when she grabbed hold of the opportunity to plant the seeds of hope in his life...life forever changed for the better. Let us be encouragers by seeking to see everyone----the way they can be, not as they are.

ELEMENT FOUR: RESPONSIBILITY

The Good Book says that the one who has been given a lot, then a lot will be required. The more talents and gifts God has blessed you with then the more He will want and expect from you.

"We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way," says one of the ancient writers. Now you might be thinking, "WOW! That is rough! Why then, should I want to succeed?" Well, as Zig Ziglar says in his wonderful book See You At The Top, "No, I am totally convinced you don't pay a price, you enjoy a price. This is applicable to all areas of life. You don't pay the price for success...; you pay the price for failure." You were born to be a champion. You have within you everything you need to be a great success. Reach down deep and tap into that greatness. You can do it!

So, how do you feel about responsibility now? When God gives us more responsibility, He is actually giving us a compliment. He is trusting us with that responsibility.

The beast can be tamed. Take these four elements to heart and you will be well on your way to conquering your tongue...and your life.

(Excerpted from Mark's newest book Unlocking the Champion Within. For more information please email us at info@MarkBowser.com )





WOULD YOU LIKE MARK BOWSER TO SPEAK AT YOUR NEXT CONFERENCE OR EVENT?
If so, contact him at (513)252- GOAL or email info@MarkBowser.com. FREE Audio Clips from Live Seminars on MarkBowser.com.

The world needs role models, instead of critics. Others know when you have their best interests at heart.

You are truly successful when you can extend a strong hand to someone who is reaching out or just trying to hang on.

Come through for others, and they will come through for you.

People who seek attention, need all the help they can get.

You know you're a success when people tell you, "I like me best when I'm with you."

If we succeed without sacrifice, it's because someone sacrificed for us.

Real power comes by empowering others!

Promises should not be given lightly unless you want them lightly received.

If I help you win, then I win too!
Reproduced with permission from the Denis Waitley Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com

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